My Best Friend's Wedding

Since I've officially been back from Africa for over two weeks, now seems like a good time to blog about it.  I know you faithful, loyal, fantastic readers have been oh so disappointed when, day after day, you've come to my blog and not seen a new post.  (Because you love reading my blog THAT much.) But, rest assured, dear reader, another post is finally here.

Ever since I bought a ticket to South Africa, people have been asking me why.

First, it was the bag-checker in the Salt Lake airport:  Final destination? --South Africa. Oh that's--whoa, wait. Did you say South Africa? Why?

Then, it was the nice Californian man waiting at the South African Airways counter in New York, waiting to check his

 bag

 for our 15 hour, 10 minute long flight to Johannesburg: You seem like a nice enough girl... Why South Africa? That's a far cry from Utah! You're quite right sir, I will be feeling that "far cry" in the next 15 hours... (I want to point out that California is geographically an even farther cry than Utah is, so what's the big deal--but I think he is picturing Utah as a small, podunk place where people don't travel internationally. Partially 

true.)

Then, it's the best man, whose response is my favorite: WHY South Africa? Seriously, I hate this country.  I even live here and I want out. Well. Um. I like your attitude!

Then, it's me asking, after Mik picks me up from the airport in Jo-burg and her mother says, Did you know that Johannesburg is the most dangerous city in the world? Even worse than Iraq. First of all, thank you.  Second of all, no, thank you, that was sarcastic.  Third of all, couldn't you have waited until you 

were dropping me off before bringing that up? And fourth of all, WHY! 

But then I think of the moment I saw Mikayla for the first time in a year, and all my doubts dissipate as I remember, very easily, why I bought that ticket.

Then I think of the wedding.  I think of seeing Brendan, the groom, watching tirelessly as the bridesmaids come down the aisle because he only has eyes for Mikayla.  When he finally sees her, he's caught between grinning and crying and I think, okay, this is why I bought that ticket, if for no other reason than just to see his face in this moment.

Then I think of Brendan's toast.  He says, in my very loose paraphrase: I know many of you have already heard the story of how Mikayla and I met, but I need to tell it one more time.  So, a few years ago, I got a phone call from a church asking me to teach a self defense class to a youth group.  And, I'm a charitable guy, so I said "Yeah, I can do that."  So I got there and started teaching the class.  And you know, there's always one in every class who just doesn't get it. And it's never a reflection of poor teaching skills, it's usually just the person and there's nothing you can do.  He looks at Mikayla to show the room exactly who didn't get it, in case they were unsure.  He continues, But, by the end of the lesson, I managed to teach that person the difference between left and right, so I felt pretty accomplished.  Then, on my way out I leave a stack of gym cards on the desk with my number on them, because, I mean, that's just good advertising.  So the next day I get an SMS (South African for "text") saying, "Hey Brendan this is Mikayla.  You probably don't remember me, but I was in the church group last night and I was wondering if  I could take a few more classes at your gym..." Brendan laughs as he reads this text, and poor Mikayla has been made fun of for this text so many times, she laughs too.  This is just Brendan, so she laughs.  He continues, So, after Mikayla so, ahem, smoothly SMSed me, I realized how much she actually liked me, so I figured I should humor her and take her out.  

That's the story of how we met, and that's how I always tell it... (Cue tears from Brendan, gasps from the crowd, and tears from every other person who knows how unaffectionate Brendan really is) When in actual fact... I'm so glad you came that day Mik.  Anyone who knows Mikayla knows how lucky I am to be with her.  She changed my life--after I met her I did a complete 180, then turned around, then did a 180 again.  She's made me who I am.  I love you Mik, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

I hear that speech in my head over and over again, and I think now I know why I bought that ticket.

The reason I didn't write about this post sooner is because after countless drafts, I realized I had no idea how to say everything I wanted to say about my trip to South Africa and my relationship with the people there.  There is so much to tell.  Furthermore, there is so much I simply can't tell, because words so often fail to describe reality. (Don't tell my English teachers I said that.) But it's true.  I love the people there. In some strange way, South Africa feels like a second home; despite its 3rd world status, the high crime rate, the unfamiliar foods, phrases and places, South Africa feels familiar to me because it's the people who make the place.  The people I know in South Africa have taught me a lot about what's important in life.  They've changed me in so many ways I can't even begin to explain it.

Needless to say, I had a great time.  I got to do some distinctly African things--played with lions, fed giraffes, camped in a tent in the middle of the African winter (which is literally freezing at night)--and I also got to do some not-so-distinctly-African things--playing with two little South African boys Mikayla nannies for; going to the mall in search of a wedding band that's Brendan's size; sitting on a couch watching 7 de Laan, an Afrikaans soap opera (and yes, that is as bad as it sounds) that Mikayla's one-eyed gran (I didn't make the nickname, and, incidentally, it is true) can't stand to miss; laying in my bunk bed at night talking to Mikayla about nothing, everything, and whatever else we can think of, because we have a year's worth of catching up to do; singing for Mikayla's family on Sunday evenings while Mik's English brother-in-law Joe plays the piano; being temporary chorister in church on Sunday; baking and frosting 100s of wedding cupcakes; and, my personal favorite, getting accepted into someone else's family for two weeks.

Hopefully this small, ever-insufficient blog post gave you a small taste of how much I love those people, how much I enjoyed my vacation, and how special South Africa is to me. Hopefully this gave you all the right details of my best friend's wedding.